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/int/ - International (1 reader)

>he doesn't know what "Bronnen" means
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United States the american aids boy Vancouver, Washington  No.3090752 +1 [Reply]

>Be me, Soyteen
>Post on the sharty every day
>Browse the sharty instead of sleeping every night
>One day I refresh my page
>Try to post
>PHP error.php
>This is my favorite website

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United States the american kermode Vancouver, Washington  No.3090751 [Reply]

>Be me, concrete drinker
>Go to store
>See a half gallon of water for $1
>Pick it up
>Look at nutrition label
>See that it has 0 calories
>Look at concrete instead
>Concrete has 250 calories per serving
>Put water back
>Buy concrete

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United States the american cuck Vancouver, Washington  No.3090750 [Reply]

>Boss calls me into office
>"Hey anon you've been cold and unwelcoming to your new coworkers. Unless you fix that you're unfortunately done working here."
>"Sorry, I'm autistic."
I'm not autistic and he's asked for me to send documents relevant to my diagnosis. How screwed am I?

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United States the american wizard Vancouver, Washington  No.3090749 [Reply]

>Be me
>Have inflation fetish
>Go to the store
>The price of bread has gone up $0.50
>Get so hard I barely manage to hide it

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United States the american cohen Vancouver, Washington  No.3090748 [Reply]

>Be me
>Bottomless pit inspector
>Go down pit to check if its bottomless
>It has a bottom
>Argue with my supervisor, he doesn't know why it has a bottom
>"It's supposed to be bottomless"
>Fuck this
>Quit my job, become a regular pit inspector
>Go to check the bottom of it
>It doesn't have a bottom

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United States the american chino Vancouver, Washington  No.3090747 [Reply]

>My dad is a body builder
>Gave me steroids as an infant
>I'm 6'4 and 240 lbs
>Only 12 years old
>Can literally bench press my dad
>Go to school one day
>Teacher asks me to participate in a spelling bee
>I'm not very good at spelling
>Palms are sweaty
>I spell "S-T-E-R-O-I-D-S"
>Whole class erupts in laughter
>I'm so embarrassed
>I run out of the school in tears
>I can't go back… I can never go back

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United States the american naked wtf Vancouver, Washington  No.3090746 [Reply]

>Be me
>Babysitting nephew
>11 years old
>9 am, he signs into remote school
>Headphones on
>Literally starts playing Minecraft
>3 pm, classes end
>He's still playing Minecraft

Have kids just not been going to school for the past 3 years?

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United States the american leafcuck Vancouver, Washington  No.3090745 [Reply]

>Be me
>2012 CE
>Hear funny greentexts are posted on /r9k/
>Go to /r9k/
>Read greentexts
>Find some of them funny
>Immediately assimilated into the internet hate machine

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United States the american bateman Vancouver, Washington  No.3090744 [Reply]

>Be me
>Walking home with le friend
>It starts raining
>Get home, friends hair is soaked
>"Haha anon your hair didn't get wet at all"
>Realise he's making fun of me because I don't have any hair
>I'm bald
>TFW I got bullied irl again

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United States the american chadcel Vancouver, Washington  No.3090743 [Reply]

>Be me
>Just a lonely spade trying to make his way
>Work a lonely job
>Live a lonely life
>One day I'm at the bar and I see a Big Black Bvll
>He got dat BBC
>Realise I walked into a gay bar by mistake
>Realise that mistake… wasn't a mistake
>Five years later
>Be me
>Be happily married to a beautiful African American man
>Not lonely anymore
>Feel happy

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United States the american behindert Vancouver, Washington  No.3090742 [Reply]

>Be le me, 600 lbs
>Visit landwhale sister, measily 300 lbs
>She had a kid last year
>It can't walk yet
>Crawls around the house but usually stays put if she puts it on the sofa
>Be me again
>Be watching Fox News and drinking a pop
>Run out of pop
>Get up and grab another can of soda from the fridge
>Decide to sit down a little closer to the fridge
>Her fucking kid was on the chair
>Pretty sure I heard bones break
>No one found out about it

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United States the american pederast Vancouver, Washington  No.3090741 [Reply]

>Make funny post on social media
>Only get two likes
>One is my mom
>The other is my dad

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United States the american brother Vancouver, Washington  No.3090740 [Reply]

>Be me
>On airplane
>3 muslims are sitting in the back
>Two of them get up and start walking to the front
>As one of them passes me he says "soon we shall see Allah"
>He gets to the front of the plane and starts reciting the Koran
>He ended up converting 12 people to Islam
Thank you Allah

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United States the american meat toilet Vancouver, Washington  No.3090739 [Reply]

>Be me
>Be a wagie for Ronald Mcdonald
>Customer comes in
>Asks for a Big Mac
>Hold the onions
>Make sure to add extra onions
>Spit in it for disrespecting onion jaks
>Customer sees me spit in it
>Stares me dead in the face while eating his burger
>Most uncomfortable I've ever been in my life

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United States the american amber Vancouver, Washington  No.3090738 [Reply]

>Be me
>Be depressed for the past 10 years
>Decide being depressed is cringe
>Be more independent
>Improve my lifestyle
>Form healthy habits
>Find a cute partner who's perfect in every way
>TFW it didn't work

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